Saturday, 9 October 2010

ASDFGHMYTHROAT HURTS, Or : How I learned to stop giving a shit about overdoses and love the Pills

Everybody has woken up in pain before. Headaches from booze, headaches from fighting, headaches from lack of sleep, general aches from sex, or after a particularly succesful jaunt, all of the above.

How many among you have woke up in literally blinding pain, unable to see due to tears, unable to hear due to swelling, and unable to breath or swallow? It's frightening. Like, corn-field filled with velociraptors frightening.

Two courses of action immediately presented themselves to my currently fragile brain:

Good idea: I've had too many painkillers, I should try and get back to sleep and ignore it.
Bad idea: I'm in so much pain I'll just grab a nice chemical hug and go back to sleep.

Suffice to say I made the Id fuelled choice of "Nom some Pills".  'Til now id been fairly sensible with my intake of drugs, just about keeping to times and doses, but it's true what they say, pain motivates.

Ask youself what got the pyramids built, a placebo, or a fucking whip?

According to my ever steadfast sidekick, the Internet, I should be reaching maximum swelling about now (and thus pain), therefore the end of this should be in sight.

Which would be nice, I suppose, if the end didn't look like a Tyranosaurus Rex holding a 6-pack and contraceptives.

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