Drink, Food, more Food, there best be Drink soon...

Pretty much all I have done for the past week. Besides...oh wait that started with food.

Minn, Tash, Myself, Sushi. Cheap sushi. Brilliant evening planned. Brilliant evening was had. Though now somehow I have to race through the Harry Potter films before the new release.

And then there was Jen, who, for some reason, can instantly persuade me that pints in Trillians after work are a good idea, when the rational mind knows they are not. Only this time they were, as they were free. Being the very occasional idiot that I am, I had forgotten my wallet. Jennifer offers to buy my drinks.

Jennifer, in case you don't get how much I appreciate you in general, I love you. Lots. Moving on.
We sat, and we drank and we made merry, and casually avoided catastrophe. 5 pints later, and thoroughly grateful Michael is informed it's time to go home (6 pints leeds to oblivion usually). At some point on the way home, I promised to pay back that which I owed lest a Merchant of Venice-esque scenario occur.

Paying back things is something I'm rather fond of, as despite my general nature I hate freeloading. So, it was time for more sushi. I discovered a little wierd pocket-of-rice thing that apparently I'd be able to eat my weight in. Oh, and Jen loves sushi. In the same way that Elvis loved anything labeled "may cause eventual death on a toilet". I was in fact extremely impressed.

Another bit of adventure this week, as I went to Wagamama's for the first time. The food I enjoyed, the place and the service, not so much. And as final note I'd just like to say I am rather sick of hearing " I hope we don't see anyone we know." You make it sound like we're out murdering the elderly, or worse, doing charity work.

A conclusion of sorts

Right, part two is going to be brief, as I cannot think of much at all to write.

I met some new folks, though I do apologise to them for anything I may have done/said/caused that may have offended them and/or caused them serious injury or death. I was really very drunk. I should get that tattooed on me as a permanent disclaimer.

I got shit scared at the bar as I realised I was being glared at by a very angry looking man dressed as a mummy, only to have him shout at me "PENNER IT'S MECKS YOU TIT!". I've never been more relieved on a night out.

I also remember a moment of disgusting cliché with regards to somebody dressed as Leonidus. I'm actually ashamed of myself. First time this year. Not bad going. I don't remember getting home on halloween at all.

Apparently I shared a taxi with Daniel and a nice girl we had just met that evening. Min being the subtle creature she is nicknamed her Ramona. Oh, and Daniel was dressed as Scott Pilgrim.

Upon arriving home, we decided toast was a good idea. After happily throwing my crusts into the sink, it was time to sleep. Before bed however, I made sure I collected something to prevent my floor being more ruined, as I had gleefully and correctly prophesised I was going to end the wonderful evening with a bout of violent vomiting.

I rarely wish I was wrong.

And mostly I'm not.

All Hallows Eve 2010: Dances with Hobgoblin.

First off, thank you to anyone who's been pressuring me to write, I've been rather lazy of late, your threats are appreciated.

As you may or may not be able to tell from the title, this one's going to be about Halloween. If you couldn't tell, please leave me your name, and address, along with a note to never speak to you again.

It began this year with a mad dash into Newcastle town centre itself, with Miss Milne for company, in order to procure the last minute touches to the costume. It turned out to not be much of a costume, more of an undead makeover, thank you very much Lou. I will say this one last time, you are a life saving babe, and that's that.

After introducing Charli to some of the sandwich based delights of Newcastle, and another quick couple of errands it was time to head home, upon which I realised I would be alone for an hour. I hate being alone, so now was time to drink. Yes drink, nothing else. You foul people. I should point out that at this time it was 3:45 pm.
This is normal for The North, we've been trhough this.

Some bored facebooking led to an unexpected win, in that Vicki, whom I very rarely get to see wished to visit. With Ale. I would call this a victory. Daniel then arrived, and the murderous rage that I seem to slowly sink into every time im left alone began to subside. I think that might be a problem in itself but hell, it'll be something to write about.

It was at this point that drinking really started, going through five pints of my favourite mythological creature inspired beer. Cracking open the Deep South seemed like a good idea at this point, but as usual with almost all of our ideas which involve Deep South, it was not. This is where my memory of the evening starts to get confused. Six PM folks, and it's already clouded. I know who ended up at mine, but not in what order. Except that Vicki was next. Followed at some point each by Josh, Lou, David, Charli, Amber, and Erminia.

After struggling to sit still and have makeup applied, I ended up looking pretty damn dead. Mission accomplished. After some more drinking, finished our bottle of SoCo knock off, and some extremely ill advised shots of sambuca, Min and I stole a lift into Newcastle, and abandoned the others to the hell that is public transport. Sorry. I can only beg your forgiveness.

Upon arriving at Krash I discovered to no surprise at all that almost everyone was out. We do almost nothing for Christmas, but missing Halloween is considered as bad as genocide.

The younger folks were out in force, all of them having made a fantastic effort with the costumes, top form gals. It was also good this week to see more of you as seperate entities, not the terrifying hive-mind that I'm usually presented with. Though I am thoroughly blaming you for the amount of money I spent, which was frankly shocking. Oh, and just because I promised you'd be in this, your costume rocked Eve.

I think I've decided this is enough for one block, stay tuned for part two, where Michael is attacked by serial killers, the embalmed, and teen wizards. Oh, and I made some friends, which is totally predictable.

Why are we on a tropical island?

First night out since my surgery. Options are:

1. Take it easy, I'm out of practice, drinks are going to hurt.
2. Sod that, I'm from the North.

One bottle of my favourite poorly disguised Southern Comfort knock off later, and option 2 was no longer option 2, but reality.

No, I did not drink the entire bottle myself, I'm from Newcastle, not Glasgow. Partners in crime for this occasion being Chris and Erminia. Breed 77 Karaoke is becoming a highlight of my evening on Saturday. Note to readers, Chris cannot sing. What I do is actually considered a warcrime. Poor, poor Min. And Paul, Pedro, Danny, Stu and Oscar, if you ever ever read this, we're truly sorry for what we do to your music (Pete too I suppose).

After being forced to listen to Placebo in my own home, we decided we should probably not leave Dale in the cold any longer. Poor baby.

We met a shivering and confused Dale at the bus stop, and headed out to meet Ben and crew for some drinks as Ben is now old. After making the sensible decision of downing a treble whiskey and coke, it was straight to Krash, minus...everyone but Ben. How does that work?

Anyways, after being generous on the door, theres not an awful lot I remember of the evening. I spent £50 on what I can only assume was drinks for everyone. I must've downed every damn jagerbomb I bought, as eveytime I went to take a drink I ended up on the dance floor. I know for a fact I bought Marc a drink, and that doesn't happen. Ever. Thanks for an excellent night, to all who were there, even If i don't remember seeing you. Im sure it wouldn't have been the same without you...kind of. I'm actually not really sure of much anymore, but that's for another time.

We just managed to make it to the bus, which I'm informed was packed with people I know. It could've been full the brim with shurikens and lightning for all I remember. Conversations at subways can go on for a lengthy time when you're so drunk you can barely walk, and luckily with this one involving the middle Clements brother, Im glad I barely remember.


The next day was less glorious, but I'll tell you  one thing I've learned, if you're ever going to be naked and vomit on yourself, do it in the shower.

Of herbs and failed caramel.

I have just ran into something I cannot cook : confectionary. Herbs have nothing to do with it really, but who can grab the reference?

Anyways, that's besides the point, I SUCK at cooking with sugar. I'm not used to this. I usually succeed in creating something resembling what it's supposed to be everytime, but praline apparently has evaded me.
I'm gonna nail it next time. With nuts. Yeah.

In other news, I am the greatest friend ever. Consider if you will, that I gave someone a ball of fat as a gift and they were overjoyed.  Admittedly it was an Adipose, and they're fairly fucking cool, but still, I'm awesome.
Ego trip over. By the way, to the Death. This blog is probably going to end up filled with in jokes, and sci-fi/geek references. If you spot a reference, comment and ask, and I'll congratulate or mock you.

Plans for adventures on the weekend include : Sleeping, Drinking, Sleeping. It is great to have alcohol back, in the same way it's great seeing an old friend, but an old friend that you remember you fucking hate, but don't quite want to cut out of your life. If you know what I mean. Hangovers that feel as if you've been super-effectively critically hit by a freight train full of whales are not a pleasant companion on Sunday morning.

Halloween is looming, and I am predicting an epic night due to Krash being open till 4 as it's after pay day, and the clocks going back an hour, so we'll effectively be dressed up like twats, mortal drunk until 5 in the morning, and everyone is going out.  I'm afraid I'll be cheaping out and going as a zombie, unless somebody wants to donate there face for my buffallo bill costume...just kidding, the kids in the basement will do.


Oh, and you're my bitch tommorow night.

How I love Anteaters.

Having nothing to blog about, I'm going to rant about how awesome anteaters are. You know in Jurassic Park, when they rant about the raptor's sickle claw (and somehow, eveyones got one), and how it disembowels people left right and centre? Triple that, and you're close to an Anteaters foreclaws. They use these things to batter their way through feet of baked clay. And to kill Zookeepers. Look it up. They're deadly.

You ever seen an animal with a tube for a face, and a tongue that would embarass Gene Simmons? Anteater's have that nailed down. Who needs a mouth, or  teeth, when you can mush 20,000 ants with the inside of your tube-face?

Another thing which makes anteaters awesome, is the fact that they eat ants. They're the size of bears. They eat ants.

They have giant toilet brushes for tails, and they don't even look real, in short, giant anteaters are the coolest animals on earth.

I'd love to own an anteater. I can imagine it would make me happy for a very long amount of time.

But for now I'll take this.

If you've been meaning to tell someone something then do, they may need to hear it as much as you needed to say it.

I liked the anteater diversion though.

And in case you haven't figured, yeah, there's lots to blog about, but that's mine.


Maybe later guys.

Musings on Ego, or; For Christ's sake go home!

Sometimes, I get too egotistical, a flaw I share with some most almost all of my friends. The cause of it this time, is actually this. This blog, right here, is to blame, and all of you who read it.

Since starting it, I've had nothing nothing but positive feedback, people telling me they've been genuinely laughing at it etc, and it's starting to make me think I might be a decent writer ( I mean genuinely think, naturally I already assumed I'm just brilliant).

People have actually been starting conversations with me based on what I've written, less than an hour after I've posted, harrassing me to write more, and making the effort to keep up with it. My favourite, and probably most worrying comment so far being, and I do quote "I'm following it now like some creepy stalker :3". Cheers for that, now draw me a damn ninja.

With regards to the alternate title, it's really more of an extension of the first half. Minn has spent practically her entire weekend here, due almost certainly to the fact that I'm a brilliant human being, and that there's no better option. This is mostly what's fueling my ego right now.

My house is free now, so you get another entry to my ongoing saga, you lucky people.
Join the hell up and leave me comments now to keep the furnace alight, you disobediant fucks.